3-Pack: Flipo Money Clip 9-In-1 Multi-Tools
- They can hold your money
- They can open your beer
- They can deal with nuts, bolts, and flathead screws
- They can also pry and measure
- What can they do to celebrate the spooky season: Nothing, so if you’re looking for some creepy Halloween vibes, maybe check out Mediocritee
The Tool For The Job
You grab one of your money-clip multi-tools and head to the bar.
There, the guy on the stool next to you says, “I’ll bet you a bottle of beer that you don’t know how many inches a dollar bill is when folded in half.”
You win the bet easily and he glumly signals to the bartender to bring a bottle of beer. The bartender drops it off, but she’s busy and forgets to open it. “A shame,” the guy next to you says, smirking. “What are you going to do with a capped bottle?” But you take care of it in an instant and now the guy is fuming.
You lift the beer to your lips. Before you can take a sip, though, he snatches it away.
You ask him, what gives?
“You think you’re so cool, don’t you?” he says. “With all your knowledge of folded bill lengths and ability to open bottles. But I’d like to see you handle this.”
He places a strange box on the bar, puts your beer inside, and closes the lid.
What is that thing, you ask.
“It’s a beer entrapper,” the man says.
A beer entrapper? You’ve never heard of it.
“That’s because I invented it,” the man says. “I had a dream one night. My late grandfather beckoned me into his study, handed me the schematics to build it, and said, ‘Boy, build this and you will have success.’ When I awoke, I could remember the diagrams perfectly. I constructed it precisely to the measurements my grandfather provided, and then sought venture capital to fund the mass production of it. But nobody wanted to sign on. It turns out, there isn’t a market for a box that entraps a beer within it. For some time, I thought I had failed my grandfather, but now I see what kind of success he had in mind. It was not wealth or power but the ability to best you, a random person at the bar.”
You want to clarify something: when the man claimed to have invented the beer entrapper, he really meant his grandfather had, right?
“It was a dream,” the man says, indignant.
Seems too vivid to have been just a dream, you counter.
“You’re stalling,” the man says. “You know that I’ve won. That you’ll never un-entrap your beer now! For whatever witchcraft you’ve used to accurately guess the inches of a half-bill and open a bottle has certainly run out. There is no way that you have the tools to undo the many nuts, bolts, and flathead screws that hold the beer entrapper together, and then pry its top off.”
But you do. And you go to work quickly and soon have your beer back.
The man begins to cry. “I have failed you, grandfather,” he mutters to himself.
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3-Pack: Flipo Money Clip 9-In-1 Multi-Tools 40
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