Fukobukuro 19: Fools Rush In

  • This is a Fukobukuro, an unlucky bag
  • That means it’s filled with worthless junk you wouldn’t buy knowingly, and you shouldn’t buy it sight unseen either
  • We used to sell the same sort of thing as a “Fukubukuro”, or “lucky bag”, but the contents couldn’t live up to the name
  • Before that, we used to sell the same sort of thing as a “BoC” (Bag of Crap) at Woot, but someone else runs that business now
  • Long before that, you got your Japanese custom of Fukubukuro dating to the Meiji period, but all we really know about that is what’s on Wikipedia
  • ONLY BUY ONE. Multiple orders will be canceled.
  • (Or buy zero, if you’re smart.)
  • Model: APRFU06
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Mediocrebot's Prankstravaganza / Massacre

MEDIOCREBOT IS LEARNING

PREVIOUS PRANK ATTEMPTS WERE UNSUCCESSFUL

WORKING THEORY: PRANK VICTIMS WERE UNAPPRECIATIVE OF EMOTIONALLY DAMAGING AND/OR FATAL PRANKS

MEDIOCREBOT WILL TEST THIS THEORY WITH THE “BODY SPRAY BOMB” PRANK: A 1 GALLON CAN OF AXE BODY SPRAY (“CAMARO PUBES” SCENT) HAS BEEN AFFIXED TO THE BOTTOM OF YOLANDA’S OFFICE CHAIR

THE AMOUNT OF AXE BODY SPRAY RELEASED WILL BE 1% LOWER THAN THE FATAL DOSE, ASSURING YOLANDA’S SAFETY

…

YOLANDA TYPICALLY WORKS FROM HOME

…

MEDIOCREBOT WILL INITIATE THE PRANK AT YOLANDA’S HOME OFFICE

…

FAILURE: MEDIOCREBOT CALCULATED LETHAL DOSE OF AXE BODY SPRAY BASED ON THE “STANDARD TEXAN” MEASUREMENT (270 LB MALE W/ SLEEP APNEA). YOLANDA WAS A 140 LB WOMAN WITH AN UNOBSTRUCTED AIRWAY

THE COUNTY HAS DECLARED YOLANDA’S HOME A SUPERFUND SITE

So far today...

  • 76905 of you visited.
  • 49% on a phone, 8% on a tablet.
  • 841 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 62 of these.
  • We sold out at 12:50am.
  • That’s $443 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?