Air On The Side Of Caution

We pride ourselves on honesty. We’re not just going to strut out here and say something’s perfect when it’s not.

Now, are we going to highlight the good features first? Sure. We are trying to make money, after all.

Like, with this Winix air purifier, for example. We’ll say that it features “PlasmaWave Technology” which “denatures impurities at a molecular level,” whatever that means. And we’ll tell you that it has a reach of 450 square feet, which is bigger than apartments a lot of us have lived in. And we’ll be sure to mention that we’re throwing in a year’s worth of carbon filters, so you can just enjoy the purified air without constantly having to hop on Amazon for a re-up.

But, again, we want to tell you the truth. And the truth is this: air purifiers can lead to an addiction to pure air, which can, in turn, weaken your tolerance for impure air. That’s why we recommend, before you set this thing up, to take a few precautionary steps.

1. Make sure everything you need is within the Winix’s 450 square foot range. Nothing’s worse than getting used to some good clean inhalation, only to go look for that overdue library book in a room off of the living room and find yourself gasping for breath, overtaken by the dust and allergen packed air that is, to your softened lungs, like invisible sewage.

2. Set a reminder now to buy more filters. Imagine this horror: you wake up after a year of taking in crisp, delicious air and you find that YOU CANNOT BREATHE! Why? Because your stash of filters finally crapped out and you forgot to get new ones. And so now, you’re lightheaded and stumbling over to your computer to place an order, choosing the fastest shipping method and knowing it won’t be fast enough.

3. Work on controlling your just-smelled-a-bad-smell face. Maybe it’s the styrofoam tub raw chicken comes in that you threw away a few days ago. Maybe it’s old egg salad. Maybe it’s the greens at the very back of the crisper drawer that you forgot about and now they’re a soupy gray mush. It doesn’t matter what you use, as long as it smells absolutely disgusting. What you’ll need to do is put your face right to it, breathe in deep, and practice not flinching or grimacing. Because this is what the rest of the world will smell like to you once you’ve set up your Winix. And you want to be sure not to have an expression plastered across your face at all times that makes it look like you just caught wind of a nasty fart.

As long as you take these precautions, though, you should be all set to enjoy your Winix 450 square foot air purifier!