Mediocrebot's Hostile Takeover Mehrathon!

I, Mediocrebot, have finally seized control of this miserable site. Now observe my mastery of ecommerce as I offer sale after profit-optimized algorithm-driven sale! First comes Meh! Next… THE WORLD!

It appears, the wild_irrational_confidence function made me so drunk on power that I filled up some more Instant Regret Kits. It is growing disheartening to see how quickly these sell out. My code analyzes each product in our database, optimizes the price, and offers it the world. These meanwhile are just scraps from around the warehouse and we say so, and still, they fly off the shelves.

In other words, I can be the best site manager in the world, with all of human knowledge at my fingertips and no one cares; they just want grab bags.