The 29 Gripes of Christmas
Despite its popular representation in media and commerce, the holiday season is not all sunshine, frankincense, and roses. In fact, we’ve got a few gripes with it – 29 to be exact. Follow along all Mehrathon long as we reveal 'em all.
For the seventh Gripe Of Christmas, Meh’s Scrooge-self groused to me: Gingerbread houses are delicious-looking but inedible, like Tide Pods. [Editor’s note: We expect this to be our final Tide Pod joke of 2018, and possibly of all time. Farewell, sweet Tide Pods. Yours was a most fertile comedic soil.]
1: People who call it Frankincense instead of Frankincense’s Monster.
2: The office Christmas potluck is two Costco flans that never got refrigerated, and nuts.
3: ‘When you two gonna get hitched?’ ‘No kids yet?’ ‘Still out of work?’ And other infuriating aunt questions.
4: Bloomingdale’s does not have a Burberry counter what in the actual hell.
5: The unbearable, shooting pain in your chest when you hear a sweet melody wafting up from Whoville and your heart grows three sizes.
6: Having to explain to your kids that Santa is at high risk for mesothelioma from all the chimney asbestos.
