Pacific Pearls Rose Atoll Collection 14K Gold Filled Pearl & Swarovski Necklace

  • A pearl and Swarovski necklace that is coated in 14K gold (the pearls are not filled with gold, alas)
  • The perfect gift for anyone who wants to look like this
  • Certified valuation is $650, which you should definitely mention to the recipient
  • Includes a travel pouch and pearl care guide, which is pretty cute
  • “Although contemporary in design, there is something grand, something antiquated in the appearance of this work of art; in its smoldering dignity; in the rich craftsmanship so evident in its form” says Pacific Pearl’s Edwardian copywriter
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Full Of It

We know what you’re thinking: “Pearls filled with gold??”

We know that’s what you’re thinking because that’s exactly what we thought when we saw the title. But no, these pearls haven’t been injected with gold like mozzarella into so many Pizza Hut crusts. The “gold filled” part of the title refers to the necklace itself.

We know what you’re thinking: “A necklace filled with gold??”

Again, no. For whatever reason “gold-filled” really means “gold-covered” in the nomenclature of jewelers.

We know what you’re thinking: “Oh, so it’s a gold-plated necklace. Got it.”

But you still don’t got it, because “gold-filled” is not the same as “gold-plated.” A random site we found says:

Unlike plated (aka electroplated or “dipped”) metals, Gold-filled is legally required to contain 5% or 1/20 gold by weight.

We know what you’re thinking: “So they’re doing the thing that makes sense (putting gold on the outside of the necklace) but describing it the other way around? Jewelry is weird.”

You don’t know the half of it. Check this $1,000 sterling silver “tin can” from Tiffany’s:

We know what you’re thinking: “Is this some kind of metallurgical satire on the rise of the global monied elite?”

You’d think so, but there doesn’t seem to be any self-awareness in the product description. “Sterling silver and shining vermeil upgrade this classic tin can,” say Tiffany & Co., without a whiff of irony.

We know what you’re thinking: “When is Meh going to start selling those?”

As soon as we can.

So far today...

  • 79722 of you visited.
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And you bought...

  • 677 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $25657 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

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