Letters from the Mehditor

We hired a freelancer to write the entire Meh-rathon. But out of spite or laziness or or insanity he just wrote letters to random companies and people. Meh regrets the error.

TO: tcook@me.com
SUBJ: Dude wtf

Tim, we gotta talk man.

What happened? Apple used to be so cool! So cutting edge! So obnoxiously feature-focused! I used to love taking to Twitter to endlessly mock your self-important marketing events and hollow announcements! There are entire cottage industries built on marketing cheap plastic accessories to your junk! And you’re slipping, man. You’re slipping! You’re like the Samsung of phones now.

Facial recognition is great and all but, like…I don’t want that on a phone. That’s like adding fingerprint identification to a refrigerator. And to be honest I use my phone to look at stuff that sometimes I would prefer to have plausible deniability for.

What about a phone that reads minds? Or changes your tire? Or restarts your heart if it stops? Those were literally just the first three ideas off the top of my head and they’re WAY better than “oooh the whole thing is a screen now, that’ll be $1,000.”

I miss those Feist commercials,

Meh