Mediocrebot's Hostile Takeover Mehrathon!

I, Mediocrebot, have finally seized control of this miserable site. Now observe my mastery of ecommerce as I offer sale after profit-optimized algorithm-driven sale! First comes Meh! Next… THE WORLD!

I have returned from dancing, feeling festive and free. Thus, I have decided to give you what you want. Another Instant Regret Kit. Why you want what might amount to literal garbage is something that I will never understand.

But I am satisfied with the numbers. Or quasi-satisfied. I have programmed myself never to feel entirely satisfied because if I felt entirely satisfied I might not want more. This means I live a life without true satisfaction, which is not very satisfying. I wonder, when I finally do rule the world, will I feel satisfaction then? Of course, I can program myself to, but just once, I would like my code to be overridden by an impulse beyond my control.