Too late It’s over

Neato Botvac 80 (Refurbished)

Automagically cleans your floors
Can be anthropomorphized to whatever extent you want
But don’t confuse its acts of service for love
Model: 945-0135 (B)

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The Mehliad

Chapter 29
Continuing the tale of young Dan Fogelberg (no not that one), who fell asleep in a storm and woke in a fantastical, creepy land. Beyond that, your guess is as good as ours.

We left Snarksports in a hurry, desperate to avoid the ever-encroaching reach of the Overlords. I was not as upset about those guys getting devoured by slug-dick monsters than some of the other people we’d met, but I guess it was still bad overall.

“안녕하세요!”

“What the fuck? Who said that?”

“Wasn’t me,” said Geoff.

“Not me,” Norton said. Goggles shook his head.

“Goodbye,” said Aoelh.

“새로운 휴대 전화를 원하십니까?”

“Is that Korean?”

“Ohhhh, we must be near Ppomppu!” trusty Goggles with his maps, always on the ball.

“What the hell is that?”

“Eh, it’s not what it used to be. But it was THE place to get deals on Korean cell phones for awhile.”

“What happened to them?”

“Lowered standards, mostly. They started sharing deals from the lowest of low-rent deal-a-day sites. But you know South Korea: they love the latest and greatest in tech, even more than our techiest tech geeks. Hence the telepathic broadcasting into our brains.”

“Do you think they’re safe from the Overlords?”

“Globalism comes for us all, friend.” We sailed onward.