Mozzie UL-Listed Smart Single Platform Hoverboard

Single-platform “TruRide Stability” so it’s stable and responsive, the minimum requirements you should demand from every new relationship partner
UL2272 UL certification, FCC and CE certification, some pedigree; is it getting an honorary degree from Williams next or what
Built-in Bluetooth speakers and LEDs for cool sound and light shows like an exclusive nightclub in your driveway (max cap. 1)
Model: MHB-10008MSTR (“Mister”? “Monster”? “Master”? It’s a “Mystery”)

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Deal-scroungers that we are, we often sell the cheapest version of any given thing that exists on Earth. Nothing gets our attention like a low price. It’s just how we’re wired.

Now, you can ask anyone who’s ever had a great meal out of a food truck — or who’s ever gotten good and infuriated at a brand-new MacBook — the relationship between price and quality is not direct. Still, it’s fair to say our pathological price-sensitivity (and probably yours, since you’re here) brings us into contact with plenty of products that are… I don’t want to say “crappy” here. I’ll say “clearly optimized for minimal cost.”

It can be a sick kind of fun to encounter extreme examples of this. Some manufacturers seem to consider it a game, trying to create the cheapest, shoddiest, flimsiest, most dubious assemblage of low-quality materials that might still be considered a desktop printer, or backyard grill, or coat rack, or whatever their hunkajunk is trying to pass itself off as on retail shelves. Of course, the thing will just crumple at the first attempt to put it to its putative use. “Curses!” cries the frustrated customer, unwittingly rehashing Jack Benny’s Stradivarius bit. “Now I’ve got no working garage-door opener and I’m out $4.99!”

Anyway, this “hoverboard” isn’t one of those cases. It’s actually pretty nice.

It’s got “single platform” construction, an indicator of a notably better-quality hoverboard. Our understanding — and we could be wrong about this; we’re routinely wrong about so, so many things, all day, every day — is that cheapo h-boards have a platform for each leg, and maneuver is based on each platform pivoting separately. A single-platform board’s system for sensing and responding to the rider’s body english is smarter, or fancier, or better in some way. Look, we aren’t doctors of hoverboardology; someone in the forums can no doubt correct us on this. The point is, this Mozzie board is not the cheapest, junkiest contraption that can plausibly be called a hoverboard. So we’re pleased to offer it.

Watch this space, though. We’ll no doubt carry the world’s junkiest hoverboard someday soon. We do love a low price tag.

Mozzie UL-Listed Smart Single Platform Hoverboard

Hovering Well Above The Bottom Of The Heap

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