LED Crossbelt
- A belt of pure light to alert bikers and drivers to your presence.
- This one is a small/medium sized belt. That means, it might be a little snug if you’re bigger and want to wear it the cross-body way.
- Apparently it’ll sense when you’re slowing down and flash red? That’s cool! Not sure if it does it every time you decrease speed just a little bit, though.
- Model: 2-B0LDLY-GL0-WH3R3-N0-M4N-H45-G0N3-B4.
May The Fourth Be Better
If you ask us, May The Fourth has gotten too commercial.
It used to mean something real, you know? It used to be about the camaraderie of knowing that a certain date on the calendar sounded like part of a certain line from a certain iconic movie franchise. It was about asking your coworkers, “what’s the day today?” just so they could respond, “May The Fourth be with you!”
Over time, it became a broader celebration of all things related to the famed space operas. And that’s fine. If we were in the mood to be nostalgic, we might watch one from the original trilogy. If we wanted to live in the present, we might watch one of the recent ones. If we wanted an escape, we might watch one of the two offshoot ‘stories.’ And if we were drunk, we might watch one of the prequels.
But all that’s changed. We’re not gathering around the TV to admire the up-scroll of backstory, or challenging each other to do our best Chewie impression (RIP Peter Mayhew!). Why? Because it’s all about the merch now. Everyone’s lined up trying to get the new Nike Skywalkers, or camping out in front of the various stores offering big Mark The Fourth (Off) sales. They’re driving all over town looking the limited edition ‘Sexy Lifeguard 8D8’ action figure or the tie-wearing, courtroom-ready ‘R4-P17, Esquire’ stuffed toy.
It’s just too much! That’s why we’re taking a bold stance. Are we going to sell something? Sure. But we’re not going to shamelessly thread in some film-adjacent narrative just to move units!
Oh, wait. just got an email from the higher-ups. Apparently that’s exactly what we’re going to do.
Anyway…
Ever wanted to feel like a Jedi on the bike path? Well, now you can, thanks to the LumaGlo LED Crossbelt! Like Obi Wan’s light saber, it burns bright and will keep you safe when you’re traveling through the Dark Side of the day otherwise known as “the evening.” Not to mention, it senses when you’re slowing down and will automatically begin flashing a red as foreboding as Darth Maul himself to those behind you. So get one today, bike safer, and remember: May The Fourth be with you!
Ugh.
