Wrong Turn

Did you make the wrong turn on purpose?

That’s a question you have to ask yourself. After all, you’ve been dreading this night for weeks. The night of your friend’s annual Halloween party.

It used to be fun, when you were just out of college. Everyone in store-bought costumes, or mismatched pieces from the thrift store. A little fake blood, a little makeup, a little spray-on hair color, fake Dracula teeth, that sorta stuff. It was so simple, and because it was so simple, it was so fun.

But while your interest in Halloween has remained the same since those days, your friends now view it as a sacred holiday. They learn to spot-weld. They rent 3D printers to build props. And it would be one thing if it was all in service of some easily recognizable costume. But no, every one of them is so elaborate inside joke, some pun that requires you know the various fan theories behind Mad Max: Fury Road as well as possess an intimate knowledge of ancillary Saved By The Bell characters.

In fact, that’s all everyone talks about at the party: their own costumes.

Which is why you’ve opted for something different this year. You tried to keep up, but your ambivalence held back your ambition. Now, you’re going to embrace your inner slacker. You’re wearing your normal clothes, but you’ve brought a Scream mask. And a set of Ideation Bluetooth Earbuds.

Are they the best earbuds? Not by a long stretch. But they’re easy to use, and they’re cheap, and so you can wear them under your mask. Thus, you can ‘make an appearance’ and nod along as someone gives you the breathless rundown of how their costume came together, all the while listening to your favorite podcasts.

Only, you might not. Make an appearance, that is. Because you’re lost. You took that wrong turn, remember? Also, you have no cell service. So you can’t look up directions. One more problem: it seems your car is slowing down. You stamp the gas pedal but still the power weakens until, with your foot all the way to the floor, you’re barely inching along.

You pull to the shoulder. The engine sputters, then dies. Smoke rises from the hood. What the hell?

You need to call a tow truck, but again, you have no service. You get out and begin walking just as the first drops fo rain fall. You see no improvement in your bars, but you do see a house in the distance. Maybe they have a landline phone. Or something that can help. Or many somethings, in rapid succession.

Wait, what does that mean?

Don’t worry about it. Just make your way up the driveway.