HP 15.6" Laptop w/Pentium Quad-Core Processor, 4GB SDRAM & 1TB HDD (refurbished)
- Honestly, most of the important details are in the product’s name.
- You got your 15.6" touchscreen, you got your Pentium N3710 Quad-Core Processor, you got your terabyte hard drive, and 4GBs of SDRAM, you got Windows 10
- It comes in a few different colors. You millennials eat that Pantone shit up, right?
- This isn’t this laptop’s first rodeo. It’s been refurbished.
- Model: 2MW37UA, which kinda sounds like a very elaborate acronym for a Craigslist Personals ad, doesn’t it?
The Wizard Of Meh
And after their long journey, @tnhillbillygal, @BillLehecka, and @wifeduck arrived at last at the chamber of the Wizard of Meh.
“Who is it that comes before the great Wizard of Meh?” the Wizard said in a bellowing voice that nearly sent the three of them running. His face, which looked strikingly similar to that of @Dave, appeared floating in front of them.
“Mr. Wizard,” @tnhillbillygal said, “We’ve done what you’ve told us, in order to appear in a write-up.”
“We followed,” said @BillLehecka.
“We liked,” said @wifeduck.
“We retweeted,” said @tnhillbillygal.
“Yes, yes,” said the Wizard. “Then you tweeted a selfie with the original tweet printed out. Then you quote-tweeted that tweet with a proclamation that you were in the dumbest giveaway ever. I’m aware. But unfortunately, I cannot grant you your write-up appearance today. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”
“What?! Tomorrow?!” said @wifeduck.
“We want our write-up NOW!” said @BillLehecka.
“Yeah! I’ve been a member since all they way back in May!” said @tnhillbillygal.
“And I’ve been here since longer than that. I’m celebrating my four year anniversary this month,” said @wifeduck.
“I backed the friggin’ Kickstarter!” said @BillLehecka. “This is such garbage!”
Flames shot from below the Wizard’s hovering face. “How dare you question the great Wizard of Meh! I am no mere man! I am a being with QC Pentium processing power, integrated Intel HD Graphics, and a terabyte of storage! All wrapped in an attractive shell! That, I might add, is available in many exciting colors!”
“Could you back up a minute?” said @wifeduck. “Did you say ‘Pentium processor’ and ‘Intel HD Graphics’?”
“Yeah, you really lost me with the color thing,” said @tnhillbillygal.
“Did I mention the 15.6” touchscreen?” said the Wizard of Meh.
“Damnit!” said @BillLehecka, walking to a curtain hung in the corner of a room. “We’re already in a write-up. An HP write-up.” @BillLehecka took the curtain and pulled it back, revealing @Dave putzing around on a refurbished HP Quad-Core Laptop.
“Gross,” said @tnhillbillygal.
“On second thought, maybe we should come back tomorrow,” @wifeduck said.
“Honestly, tomorrow’s not great either,” @Dave said. “This HP is really your best option. Although, I tell you what…” He opened a spreadsheet on the laptop and scrolled down. “I do have an essential oil diffuser coming up in a couple wee–”
“HP’s good with me!” said @tnhillbillygal.
“Me too!” said @BillLehecka.
“I love HPs!” said @wifeduck.