A Steaming Cup of Humility

LOL “FlexBrew”! We’re so sure this is just another cornball meaningless marketing term, we’re gonna start making fun of it before we even check to see what it means! Gotta get that X in there somewhere, right, guys? And InterCaps are essential if you want to sound cool at the marketing meeting! We bet whoever thought that name up wears sunglasses at work! Haw haw! Yuk yuk! Guffaw!

OK, now, let’s see what it’s supposed to mean. Looks like this coffeemaker has two sides, to brew either a single cup or a full pot of coffee. Fine, but that’s not so unusual you need to give it a name amirite ppl? Oh, wait, hang on: it can brew either ground coffee or K-Cups. Hmm. Yeah, don’t think we’ve seen that before. Guess we have to concede that’s pretty flexible.

We’re trying to think of a better name than “FlexBrew”… and, uh, it turns out we can’t. Maybe it’s actually a perfectly appropriate, descriptive name for this function. Maybe we were too quick to jump on that name without understanding this product. Maybe we have a worrying habit of taking the easy route to cheap laffs instead of developing a coherent, substantial perspective. A product’s name is the most superficial of its attributes. Why do we make such a big deal about something so petty?

And why did we need to get personal with that crack about the sunglasses? We’re sure the people who named this were just doing their job the best they could. Clearly, we can’t come up with anything better. Who are we to criticize? They’re human beings with their own hopes and fears, their own moments of triumph and grief. Where do we get off reducing them to caricatures for a limp joke that isn’t even funny?

This Hamilton Beach FlexBrew has given us a lot to think about. It’s forced us to take a hard look in the mirror, and we’re not so sure we like what we see. We can do better than this. We will do better than this.

At least until the next “Auto-iQ” comes along. Jeez, come on.