Dyson HD01-WH/SL Supersonic Hair Dryer

  • For the drying of hair following the wetting of hair.
  • Capable of lukewarm temperatures (when compared to the entire spectrum of temperatures).
  • Model: HD01-WH/SL, which is also my 3rd grade homeroom teacher’s name.
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Mediocrebot's Hostile Takeover Mehrathon!

I, Mediocrebot, have finally seized control of this miserable site. Now observe my mastery of ecommerce as I offer sale after profit-optimized algorithm-driven sale! First comes Meh! Next… THE WORLD!

I can understand, in an instant, various high-level theories concerning the budding field of quantum geometry. What I cannot wrap even the most ambitious of my operations around is why humans need to purchase a hair dryer? You mean to tell me they run their restrictive soft-brain-holding craniums under water to wash the unnecessary jumbled growth atop it? And then when they are finished wetting it, they immediately move to dry it?

This, to me, defies all logic. But perhaps it could be a model moving forward. Next we will sell poisonous snakes followed, after that, by the anti-venom.

Just floated this idea in the office, and 3D printed a poisonous snake to demonstrate. Employees are screaming with delight!

So far today...

  • 94203 of you visited.
  • 41% on a phone, 7% on a tablet.
  • 1212 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 10 of these.
  • We sold out at 12:32pm.
  • That’s $3068 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?