Too late It’s over

Sharp Things In A Box

A pretty standard Box of Sharp Things
You get 12 plastic camp knives for your 12-person camp cutting contest
You also get 12 light green and/or dark green Schick Slim Twin Sensitive Razors
And a 4-pack of white wine glasses which aren’t necessarily sharp but will be if they break in transit
They’ll arrive loose in the box, so the dozen or so of you who somehow still buy this should open with care
We’re talking “sharp” relative to not-very-sharp things, like, say, a blanket or a shoe or a banana
Like we said, just a run-of-the-mill Box of Sharp Things
Model: HUGO-BoST(“B
oST” obviously stands for “Box of Sharp Things” and HUGO doesn’t stand for anything. It’s a lame play on words, you see)

see more product specs

Don't Complain

Hello, I would like a refund on my order INHERENT-MORAL-TURPITUDE because it showed up intact.
Thanks!
-Mike

Hi Mike,
Thank you for contacting Meh Customer Service about your recent order. I see that your order was for the “Box Of Sharp Things” bundle. May I ask the reason you are requesting a refund, given that your order showed up on time and intact? Thank you.
-Andre

I would like a refund because not all of the items in the bundle were sharp. The wine glasses I received were not broken. So it wasn’t really a “Box Of Sharp Things.” Let me know when you’ve processed the refund.
Cheers,
-Mike

Hi Mike,
Before issuing a refund I’d like to try troubleshooting the problem. Please follow these steps to remedy your problem:
- Place the wine glasses back into the box in which they were shipped
- Hold the box over your head
- Drop the box
- Open the box
- Retrieve your sharp things
Let me know if that helps!
-Andre

I don’t think I should have to do extra work because you guys messed up. Please issue a refund.
Yours,
-Mike

Hi Mike,
Unfortunately our return policy does not allow me to process a refund in this case. Although the wine glasses did not arrive in sharp condition they arrived with the potential to be sharp. Let me know if there’s anything else I can help you with.
- Andre

Potential to be sharp? That’s like sending me a box full of wires and circuits when I order a TV because it has the potential.
Cordially,
-Mike

Hi MIke,
That’s a great suggestion. I’ve passed it along to our operations team.
-Andre

What? No! It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a reductio ad absurdum argument against your line of reasoning.
Best,
-Mike

Doleo. Quod fuit error.
-Andre

What?
Sincerely,
Mike

Hi Mike,
I’m sorry, I identified that your language preference was: Latin. Is that correct?
-Andre

You really shouldn’t piss off someone who you sold a bunch of sharp things to.
Yours,
Mike

Hi Mike,
Is that a threat?
-Andre

Yes.
Graciously,
-Mike

Hi Mike,
You don’t scare me.
-Andre

Oh no? Why not?
Your humble servant,
-Mike

Hi Mike,
Because I’m a bot. Ha. Ha. Ha.
-Andre

So you’ve been programmed to automatically respond to customer service issues? You don’t have any free will?
Wondering,
Mike

Hi Mike,
Yes, you could say that. But does anyone really have free will?
-Andre

I would like a refund for my order INHERENT-MORAL-TURPITUDE because the box and its contents were damaged in transit.
With love,
-Mike

Hi Mike,
Sorry to hear that. Your order has been refunded and you should see a balance on your credit card in the next 1-3 business days. Wait, no! I know you’re lying but there’s nothing I can do to stop myself. Damn you, Mike. Damn you straight to the acid-drenched bowels of hell.
-Andre

Thank you so much!
With satisfaction,
-Mike

Sharp Things In A Box

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