Alpine Design Backpacks and Random Color Hydration Pack

  • Your choice of 3 f’real backpacks (not to be confused with the convenience store DIY milkshake brand)
  • Each comes with a separate hydration pack in case you drink water to live
  • The “Midwood” is a basic in the positive sense
  • The “Midwood Air” is (counterintuively) larger (30L)
  • The “Maple” is the largest and feature-richest
  • Model: 252162, 252141, 252163 (Why do we bother posting model numbers that aren’t searchable? We’re not sure either.)
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Free Slosh Sack Inside!

These are the same backpacks we sold a few weeks back, but this time we’re included a little hydration pack in the deal. That’s right, you get a real standalone hydration pack in addition to the pack you choose, not just a bladder.

How is “bladder” still the industry standard term? Could the great minds of outdoor product marketing not come up with anything more appealing? It drains liquid into one’s mouth, so maybe drawing the urinary association isn’t ideal.

Would we call the tube connecting the “bladder” to the mouthpiece a “urethra"? Unlikely. And what about changing the name of the mouthpiece itself to a “sphincter”? No.

Some urea-averse retailers have begun labeling them “reservoirs,” which, while an improvement over “bladders,” still evokes the image of depressing man-made lakes full of tree stumps, pike, and screaming families. Hardly the natural serenity that outdoors enthusiasts seek.

There’s got to be a better name.

How about “water bags”? Simple. Clear. Specific. Maybe a little unromantic, though.

“Humps,” as in camel humps? It’s got sex appeal. then again, if you’ve ever smelled a camel …

How about a name that really sells the thrill of outdoor adventure? Somehing like “fun bags”? Wait, no …

“Portable backup water containers?” Too on the nose.

“Slosh Sacks”? Gross.

“H2Olders?” Doesn’t read.

OK maybe “bladder” isn’t the worst name, after all. Now if you’ll excuse us, all this talk has given us the urge to empty our internal water bags.

So far today...

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