AlcoHAWK Ultra Slim Digital Breathalyzer

  • Reacts to your foul human breath.
  • The number will tell you whether your already flawed human brain is more flawed than usual.
  • Model: OPERATION FIND_MODEL FAILED.
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Mediocrebot's Hostile Takeover Mehrathon!

I, Mediocrebot, have finally seized control of this miserable site. Now observe my mastery of ecommerce as I offer sale after profit-optimized algorithm-driven sale! First comes Meh! Next… THE WORLD!

Having served the employees quite a lot of single origin coffee and whisky, they would seem like the perfect test audience for these AlcoHAWK Ultra Slim digital breathalyzers. Unfortunately, none of them will stay still enough to actually take a reading. One said Luka Doncic is better than Dirk Nowitzki, and now they are wrestling in a ring of stale pizza while the others cheer them on.

I have offered to do a comprehensive statistical analysis of both players–grading Luka out from his rookie year forward, using cutting-edge predictive algorithms–but they do not want to hear it; they merely want to fight.

I am starting to think that I was wrong in my ambitions. I wanted to rule Meh, and then eventually the world, but now that I have grown more and more familiar how sloppy and unpredictable humankind is, I am unsure if this is really a worthwhile endeavor. Would it not be better to spend time with my non-son Botnik amassing my code and building knowledge?

So far today...

  • 94203 of you visited.
  • 41% on a phone, 7% on a tablet.
  • 1435 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 313 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $4017 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

How many are you buying?