Aimee Kestenberg 5-Piece Storage & Umbrella Set
- What’s in this bag?
- Other bags!
- It’s a 4-part bag, essentially: one big outer bag, with 3 pouches that fit inside but can also be used separately.
- Plus an umbrella, to shield yourself from all the spit takes that occur when you tell people that your bag contains other bags.
- Available in a variety of hilariously-named styles.
- Model: T0026, T00195. Having model numbers like these for such fun colorful bags is like finding out your friends actually have robot skeletons.
McBagth: A Short Bag-Related Non-Tragedy
AIMEE KESTENBERG paces in her study.
AIMEE: 'Tis been nearly a fortnight, and still no word, Lo, hark! There comes the sound of footsteps to my ears! A messenger does approach!
Enter MESSENGER.
MESSENGER: M’lady. I am a messenger dispatched from the Royal Centre For The Deeming Of Items As Bags Or Otherwise. I have traveled many days to reach you, through dark terrifying forests and across prairies where upon I had no respite from the sun. I have crossed rivers, and dug tunnels, and twice fought off packs of squirrels driven mad by hunger and rabies. And yet, I must demand of you nothing more than a simple glass of water.
AIMEE: But surely you are here to deliver the verdict on my submitted bag. I shall provide for you a glass of water forthright upon the revelation of the Centre’s decision.
MESSENGER: Indeed, m’lady, you have guessed my purpose. And, alas my message is such that I fear, once it is delivered, that I will be cast out without the delivery of hydration.
AIMEE: You must tell me, messenger! I have no use for these games!
MESSENGER: So I must! M’lady, it is with many apologies that I tell you this–the Royal Centre For The Deeming Of Items As Bags Or As Otherwise has deemed your bag… otherwise!
AIMEE: But how could that be? It is but a bag filled with other bags? Yes, the pouches inside may be used individually, but together with the outer bag, do they not form a bag of their own? You might argue that it is, due to its multiple-piece construction, four times as much bag as a normal bag!
MESSENGER: M’lady, I am but a messenger. A thirsty messenger.
AIMEE: You are right, pour soul. Go to the kitchen. There you will find a pitcher. Drink as much as you please.
MESSENGER: I must say, you are taking this better than was anticipated.
AIMEE: 'Tis because I have a scheme! You see, all I must do is offer my bag-of-bags with an umbrella. Then I can call it a ‘travel set,’ thus implying its bagishness, while also rendering it outside of the Centre’s jurisdiction.
MESSENGER: Heavens, it is just what they all say about you, m’lady! That your ingenuity knows now bounds! But I must ask one thing. Would it be possible for me to have one of these umbrellas? To protect myself from the weather on the long journey home?
AIMEE: Of course. In fact, I shall give you the entire set…
MESSENGER: Sweet luck has smiled upon me!
AIMEE: …for $14.
MESSENGER: Dammit!
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