We’re not selling this deal anymore, but you can buy it at Amazon

8-Pack TrackR Pixels

  • 8 little things that’ll help you keep track of your shit.
  • Attach a TrackR Pixel to your keys and then make them sing from your phone.
  • Know where your keys are but not your phone? Make your phone ring from your TrackR.
  • The more we sell, the more effective TrackR’s “global network of owners” will be.
  • And they definitely work better than texting your spouse and asking, “Do you remember where I put my wallet down two days ago?”
  • Can’t find your new shirt? Don’t worry. It’s just right over here, at Mediocritee.
  • Model: Tp8Pk, which stands for: “Two pixels?” “8 pixels, Kyle!”
see more product specs

The Original TrackR

-Honey, I have great news!

-So do I!

-Let me go first: you know that tracker I hired to find your car keys? Well, I just got a letter from him.

-Oh, that’s actually–

-No, let me finish. As you know, he’s been on the job for about three months now with no major breakthroughs. But that all changed about two weeks ago. He followed the trail to a small unnamed island in the South Pacific that is inhabited only by bats. He’s been sleeping in a canoe anchored off the western coast of that island for the last several days. He said this will be his last letter for some time–he managed to hand it off to a fishing boat that happened to be going by–because he fears human communication will hinder his mission. You see, he took off his shirt, shredded it, and fashioned it into a thick blindfold so that he can experience how bats live. He hopes to become proficient enough at echolocation to integrate into their community and see if they have answers. But he’s close! He can feel it! Honey, we’re getting your keys back!

-But that’s what I wanted to tell you. I found my keys.

-You went to the bat island?

-What? No. Remember when Fiona and Jim visited? And there was that terrible rainstorm? And I had to lend Fiona my slicker and then wear your old one that you refuse to donate?

-Yeah, in case we ever need it. Which we did that day.

-Sure. Anyway, the key was in the pocket of that slicker! We never thought to check there when we were first looking, but then I was getting something out of the closet and saw it, and I was like, ‘Wait a minute!’

-So they’re… not in the South Pacific?

-No. Not at all. But now that I have them back, I think I want to attach a TrackR to them?

-A tracker? But I can’t call him back now, honey! I don’t know how to speak echolocation!

-Not a tracker. A TrackR. They’re these little token-things that you can buy. You hook one onto the end of your keys, and then you have an app to see where they are or make them ding within a hundred feet, via bluetooth. And what’s even cooler than that? If you know where a TrackR is, but you don’t know where your phone is? You can make that ring from the TrackR!

-Wow, that is really convenient.

-Now, about this other tracker…

-Right, Right. I’ll call the navy.

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