4-Piece Facial Cleansing Bundle Mud Masks + Vitamin C Wipes

  • 2 packs of face cleansing wipes
  • 2 jars of mud mask
  • Basically everything you need to give your face a little refresh
  • Model: F4C3-0FF
see more product specs

A Face's Lament

Hi. It’s me. Your face.

I’ve noticed that, in the last few months, a lot of my colleagues have been given extensive breaks from their usual duties.

Like the legs, for example, haven’t had to rush to catch the bus. Instead, they’ve been sitting around in sweat shorts, relaxing under the desk you’ve got set up in the corner of the living room. The feet, too. Like, would they even recognize a pair of dress shoes anymore? Or have they relaxed to the point where they won’t settle for anything more restrictive than a flip-flop or a slipper?

You placate your stomach with endless snacks and rarely do any sit-ups. The hair on your head is almost never subjected to the blade. Nor, is the hair everywhere else. Your body is a jungle because you’ve given everyone an indefinite break from responsibility, allowed everything to go to seed.

Except me.

I need to be ever-present for your various Zoom calls for work or your virtual happy hours with friends at night. And you can argue that there’s even more pressure virtually as there is in person because I can always see myself there in the corner. Is it narcissism that drives me to stare at my digital reflection? No, it’s the opposite: the fear that I am, at any given moment, on the verge of looking nasty and stupid.

Even under a mask at the grocery store, my various muscles are expected to work overtime to convey what would usually require a simple polite smile.

What I’m saying is that I, your face, have to do all the work these days. And so, if I’m not given a day off, I should at least be given a treat. Like this bundle of face care products. The wipes will help me feel refreshed without a full-blown cleanse. And the mud masks? They’ll leave me looking radiant and youthful. And you get two of each–two packs of the wipes and two of the mud mask jars–for just $14.

In other words, this is really the least you can do. Especially given all I still do for you.

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