2 Pack: Merkury Smart Plugs

  • Wirecutter called these “reliable, easy to set up and use, and the least expensive model available,” and that was when they were pricier
  • This iteration doesn’t do energy tracking
  • Energy tracking is a one-world government UN black helicopter plot anyway, according to our neighborhood email list when the utility company started rolling out “smart meters”
  • Control your outlets with the free Geeni iOS or Android app
  • Model MI-WW102-199: Most baffling possible response to the question “I know UR but what MI”
see more product specs

Anyway, Here's Wunnerful Wall Outlets

As we said last time we sold these, they earned Wirecutter’s Budget Pick honors for “best smart switch” at a higher cost than this. For reasons of boring corporate intrigue, this batch is branded differently, but they’re the same product. (One notable difference from the last time we had them: They don’t do energy tracking anymore. Our theory is that the manufacturer figured out how to shave eight cents off the manufacturing cost per unit by eliminating a feature no one much cared about anyway.)

If you’ve been looking to take a tentative first baby step into “smart home” stuff, these plugs could be your walker. Use the associated app to turn stuff on from your phone, whether you’re across the globe in Seoul, or just across the room, too lazy to hoist your bulk off the couch and go flip the switch with prehistoric flesh-appendage technology.

When you’re ready to go full Skynet, these outlets works with both Alexa and Google Home, so they can grow with your “smart home” system and your increasing reliance on dehumanizing tech giants for even your most basic needs.

That’s all there is to say about them, really — and it’s Sunday, so what say we take a break from the sales pitch and fill the remainder of our page space with classic performances from the Lawrence Welk Show?

Squeeze box wunderkind Myron Floren jamming with the boss on “Muskrat Ramble” (1955):

“The Great Lady of Country Music” Lynn Anderson with a peppy rendition of “I’ve Been Everywhere” (1968):

Teen Strat-sation Buddy Merrill and the gang render “Rock Around The Clock” as an easy listening number. Once, when the LWS came on public television when we were kids, my little sister turned to our mom and said, with sincere wonder in her voice, “look, Mom… a whole band of nerds!” (1956)

A bizarre 1973 performance featuring various Music Makers’ livestock imitation talents:

The infamous Brewer & Shipley incident — sounds like Myron might be choking on a lungful of the forbidden herb himself as he introduces what Larry calls a “modern spiritual” (1971):

Hope your weekend was wunnerful, wunnerful.

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