2-Pack: 8oz Poo-Pourri Before-You-Go Toilet Sprays
- Their tagline is “Spritz the bowl before-you-go and no one else will ever know” and honestly, it’s so good, there’s almost nothing else to say.
- A mixture of essential oils and other natural stuff, these sprays have been tested by science!
- (Bet that’s exactly how those scientists thought their time would be spent while in school.)
- IMPORTANT SHIPPING NOTE: We’re sending these in boxes rather than envelopes this time, so they’re less likely to leak in your mailbox.
- Model: WF-008-CB, VM-008-CB, the WF stands for “What Foulsmell?” The VM, “Very muchbettersmellingthanwithoutit!”
A Refined Odor Eradicator
Obviously, “Poo-Pourri Before-You-Go Toilet Spray” is a pretty self-explanatory product. It’s even got the order of operations right there in the name. But, in case you’re confused, we decided to enlist the help of our friend Prim Tim to explain it to you. And don’t worry! It won’t get graphic, because Prim Tim is one of the most proper and prudish people we know! Take it away, Timothy:
It is one of the great embarrassments–not solely among humankind, but among all creatures who live and breathe–that even the most refined banquets and dinner parties must be followed by a vile process called ‘digestion.’ This internal composting mechanism is necessary to our continued existence, of course; we cannot simply take things in and allow nothing to exit. Still, that even the most subtle and nuanced meal must be turned to noxious waste is, to me, the great tragedy of life.
This product of digestion is marked not simply by an unappealing appearance. Were this the case, all humility related to the act of its expulsion would have been eradicated with the advent of modern plumbing.
No, if anything its appearance–which can be avoided by the aversion of one’s eyes and the quick shutting of the lid after the terrible process has concluded–is the least offensive thing about the production of waste. The true malfeasance is the accompanying sulfurous odor. Even in the restroom of the finest opera house in all of Italy, one will be confronted with this terrible assault on the olfactory sense.
It would seem that we are doomed to forever be reminded of humanity’s underlying barbarism each time we enter a bathroom with intentions of sitting a spell. In the time from the pants’ fall until the last remnants of the scent is dispersed, all the millennia of refinement and innovation fall away, and we are reduced to the uncivilized cave-dwellers we once were.
But alas, there is a solution! With these sprays, one may, in anticipation of digestion’s grotesque product, spritz the chosen receptacle and erase all evidence of the crime before it is even committed! This, if you ask me, sits side-by-side with penicillin as one of our greatest achievements in the history of science! So please, purchase and apply generously!
Wow, okay… maybe a little over the top there at the end, but Prim Tim has a point: these things really do make your poop smell less bad!
