2-for-Tuesday: Compact 121-Piece First Aid Medical Kit

  • These widdle first aid kits are the ideal size to leave in your car or bring hiking/camping/traveling.
  • You get two of them.
  • It has 121 pieces of first aid gear, which we will now list in full: various first bandages, gauzes, tapes, pads (121).
  • It also has scissors and tweezers. It comes with no woofers nor tweeters.
  • Model: FAK121-AC, because in Ireland they’d say, “Wha’da fak y’need dees 121 pieces fowr?”
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Second Aid

This compact first aid kit is exactly what it says it is: a small kit for administering first aid. It has tweezers. It has scissors. And it has one bazillion (read: 121) pieces, including all the gauze, pads, bandages, and alcohol prep packs that you’d need to treat any (read: any NOT super major) wound you sustain while camping, or picnicking, or what have you. Its size makes it the ideal first aid kit to buy, leave in your car, and just forget about until you need it.

That’s all pretty simple.

But what comes next? This is what no one ever talks about: how to build and successfully administer a second aid kit. Luckily, we can help.

Step 1: Gather your supplies. You will need a chair (worn, in an endearing, well-loved way); a blanket (soft, warm, but not too warm); a cat (purring); and a remote control (to a Roku, Apple TV, or comparable).

Step 2: Apply ass to chair. (Optional, recline chair or use ottoman to extend legs).

Step 3: Apply blanket to lap and/or legs.

Step 4: Apply purring cat to blanket at lap area. Pet cat occasionally.

Step 5: Apply hand to remote; locate a binge-worthy show on your television; press play.

Step 6: When your significant other or roommate enters the room and asks if you’re really going to spend all day just sitting there watching television, sigh and say, “You’re right,” then move (very slightly) to get up, stopping only to hiss with pain and grasp at the injury area where the first aid was administered. (Optional: parlay sympathy, if shown, into your significant other or roommate bringing you a hot beverage of your choice: coffee, tea, cocoa, or apple cider.)

Step 7: When your significant other or roommate leaves the room, replace purring cat (if riled by your attempt to get up), rewind show as needed, and resume viewing.

There: you’ve successfully built and administered a second aid kit. Now, just buy this compact first aid kit, and you’ll be all set!

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